The Mental Well Community Connections: Abi Johnson
In 3-5 sentences, tell us a little about you and your background. What is your name, where did you grow up, where are you now, any hobbies or other things about you that you’d like to share?
My name is Abi and I grew up on the eastern shore of Maryland. I received my undergraduate degree in clinical counseling psychology from Washington College in 2020 (what a time to graduate, huh!). My time is mostly spent knitting, biking, pet-sitting ,being outside and keeping my body moving in whatever way I can. I also love hula-hooping, photography, dancing, birding, going to concerts and gluten-free baking!
Do you prefer the mountains or beach? Why?
Definitely mountains :) I like the idea of going to the beach but I much prefer the serenity of the woods, water and a good mountains-cape.
What is a really good book you’ve read or movie you’ve seen recently?
I watched Dune for the first time the other weekend! I had been putting it off since I missed it in theaters and it finally came out on HBO Max. I haven’t read the book series yet, but I thought the movie was great and my partner said it was a good adaption. It was a lot darker than I had envisioned it being. I was very impressed by the cinematography and score, and of course seeing my favs Zendaya, Oscar Isaac, and Timothee Chalamet.
Who do you look up to in your life and, if they were to read this, is there anything you would like to tell them?
Right now I would have to choose Dr. Cortney Gensemer. She just got her PhD at Medical University of South Carolina and is doing research on connective tissue diseases and their cardiovascular manifestations at The Norris Lab. In her dissertation she identified a very strong candidate gene for the type of Ehler’s Danlos that we both have. I participated in the study, and we’ve chit-chatted a bit over Instagram and are mutuals on there which is so cool! But if I were to meet her in person, I would love to thank her for her hard work and dedication towards research. She is a great advocate for people with disabilities and chronic illness, and for women in STEM. I would let her know that her work inspires me as someone who is passionate about research and science to further my education regardless of my disability. You can check out the work that they’re doing at the Norris Lab at: https://www.thenorrislab.com/
What is it about “mental health” that you are passionate about? Why? Any experience you’d like to share that brought this passion out?
I think one of the biggest reasons I’m so passionate about mental health is that it is something that affects everyone. Whether you are someone who has a mental health condition or knows someone with one, it is a public health matter. Growing up I dealt with a lot of anxiety and felt a lot of shame because of the symptoms I was endearing. It took me a long time to truly open up about how I was feeling and to be honest with myself about how I needed to take better care of myself. My senior year of high school was probably the best I had felt up until that point in my adolescence, and I got into a good routine of keeping my body moving and finding hobbies that brought light into my life. In college I pursued a degree in clinical counseling psychology and ended up doing internships in schools for children with disabilities, mental health care services and research. Through those internships, research and work experiences I gained a new perspective on how important quality mental health care access is. In time, I would love to rejoin the workforce through advocacy and research avenues to help support public health care efforts.
What's a difficult situation you survived/came through/found resilience in? What did the experience teach you about yourself?
For the past several years I’ve been dealing with chronic illness. Throughout college I was brushed off as my symptoms were mounting and it took me partially dislocating my hip and a knowledgeable EMT to get to me to see a geneticist in 2020. After a thorough evaluation, testing and a few appointments later I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a connective tissue disease that affects the joints, organs, skin and tissues of the body. This also manifests for me as partial joint dislocations, fatigue, autonomic nervous system dysfunction, a partially paralyzed stomach, mitral valve prolapse in my heart, an eye disease that affects the integrity of my corneas, etc. Quirky health stuff that affected my childhood finally clicked and made sense and didn’t seem so random anymore. Having to renegotiate my abilities, grieve for my health, and work through the frustration of being brushed off throughout my life all in the midst of a pandemic was and continues to be challenging. However, it’s taught me to find softness and serenity in the little daily things that I can control. I’ve learned how to be kinder to myself and put the limited energy that I do have into things that matter most to me instead of overextending myself.
If you could tell your younger self something, what would it be and why?
“You are enough.” I would really keep it as simple as that, because I feel like that’s something that I needed to hear coming from myself when I was young. I struggled with body image issues, social anxiety and shame as someone who dealt with depression and anxiety. And even though I had people in my life supporting me and telling me that I was more than enough I had a hard time accepting that. I am thankful now to have that internal acceptance, and I think my younger self would be relieved to hear that.
What is one of your favorite quotes and why?
“We’re all just walking each other home.” Ram Dass.
This is a quote that I hold close to my heart. I find it reminds me to have patience with myself, and with other people. It reminds me of the intersection of love and grief woven into life’s most intimate and hard moments. I also appreciate how the quote could be interpreted in many different ways. That you can take from it what resonates with you most.
Do you have any aspirations for yourself over the next year or two and how do you plan to reach those goals?
I would love to find a flexible, work from home position and have been applying to jobs. Right now, I am doing Rover part-time and while I do enjoy my furry friend time-it would be more ideal to have some more consistency. Additionally, I would love to do some more exploring and traveling. My partner and I have a few planned stay-cations coming up that I’m looking forward to planning out more. In two years’ time I would also love to move from our apartment. We are Zillow and Trulia fanatics so I’m always on the lookout!
Mental health priorities evolve with age and experience, what are one or two important pillars that make up the foundation of who you are today?
I think one of the biggest changes that I’ve noticed within myself is my softness. By that I mean I used to be very harsh and critical with myself. I wouldn’t allow myself to fully feel out my emotions and pushed myself to my emotional limits, neglecting my needs. With time, maturity and therapy I’ve grown to meet myself with more understanding and grace. That’s not to say I don’t have my moments, but those moments are felt and acknowledged without that out-standing harsh internal judgement. Another pillar that supports that grace is resiliency. Through withstanding trauma, illness and disability I’ve gone through many grief cycles. In those cycles I have felt low lows, but have a stronger sense of purpose and space to feel those moments without letting them define my character and just allow them to be a part of my story.
How do you manage your mental health?
I’ve been doing one on one CBT therapy every few weeks and recently started EMDR within the last two months. I’ve really found a lot of success in doing EMDR even for a short period of time! Now I try and recommend alternative methods to just CBT to friends that have expressed a feeling of stagnation in doing therapy because I totally get it. After what feels like a lifetime of being in therapy off and on, I finally realized I needed to dig deeper and begin to untangle the core traumas that were keeping me going back to the same place and EMDR gives me the space do so. I also push myself to get outside every day, even if it’s just for a moment to breathe or a walk around the block. Keeping my body moving each day is integral to my well-being.
In terms of “self-care” what do you do that a reader may be able to easily adopt into their life?
I love keeping little daily goals for myself. Whether that be to get through a load of laundry that’s been sitting on the floor all weekend or to make sure that I move my body in a mindful way. For other people those little promises/goals may look like a bubble bath and a journal sesh. Either way, leaving myself room to accomplish something each day, regardless of how small or significant, gives me motivation and a sense of stability
It’s important to be supported, but how do you offer support to the people in your life?
Space and acknowledgement are two words that come to mind when I think about how I support people in my life. Space in terms of letting someone express their feelings without trying to find a solution to them. And acknowledgment that negative emotions/events are difficult instead of trying to pivot a heavy conversation into a positivity lecture. So much of my life I have been a “fixer” and I had a difficult time defining my personal boundaries when holding space for other people. Now that I feel confident in my ability to create and hold boundaries with my loved ones and friends I feel more connected to myself and to them. That connectivity has brought me closer friendships and relationships that feel lighter, and more mutually beneficial.
Anything else you’d like to tell our readers?
Thank you for taking the time to read everyone’s stories and experiences with taking care of their mental health. I hope that you give yourself space to feel your feelings and be present and soft with yourself. To offer yourself the gift of grace that you graciously give to others.
