The Mental Well Community Connections: Karen MacFarland
In 3-5 sentences, tell us a little about you and your background. What is your name, where did you grow up, where are you now, any hobbies or other things about you that you’d like to share?
I’m Karen and I grew up on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. I have made my way back and currently reside in Cambridge, MD. At 19 years old, I joined the Marines and was given several opportunities to travel abroad. Traveling and learning two things I’m very passionate about, as I feel you can never do enough of either and there is always more to do of both. I am currently studying holistic and energetic healing modalities and am a very spiritual soul.
Do you prefer the mountains or beach? Why?
I prefer the beach over the mountains. Something about the warm grains of sand beneath my feet, the salty air, and the sound of the waves crashing does wonders for my soul.
What is a really good book you’ve read or movie you’ve seen recently?
A really good book I read recently was The Force by Stuart Wilde. It’s about the universal force within all things and how we can work with it here on Earth.
Who do you look up to in your life and, if they were to read this, is there anything you would like to tell them?
I look up to my Mom. If she were to read this, I’d want her to know that I know she did her best with what she knew and that she too was dealing with her own trauma and I understand that now.
What is it about “mental health” that you are passionate about? Why? Any experience you’d like to share that brought this passion out?
CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE
I’m passionate about mental health because for over half of my life I suffered from anxiety and depression and have found ways to shift my mindset so much that I no longer suffer and am no longer on medication. Mental health is just as important as physical, spiritual…etc. Your thoughts create your reality so let them be good ones. At 15 I was diagnosed with depression. I attempted suicide at age 30 and I think the last 3 years I have dedicated my life to never allowing myself to feel that low again.
What's a difficult situation you survived/came through/found resilience in? What did the experience teach you about yourself?
In 2020, 4 days before the pandemic happened, I left my partner that I moved across the country for. In a world of chaos, in a state I’d never lived in I was alone. I ended up getting an apartment in a new city and state and for 2 years worked from home. I learned in those moments that I really was all I needed and that being alone was actually very healing and therapeutic. I grew exponentially and find myself reflecting on those days when I thought the world was over, but yet mine was just beginning.
If you could tell your younger self something, what would it be and why?
I would tell myself to focus on myself and really get to know myself. Not to focus on boys or relationships, but myself. To become my own best friend. I say this because for over half my life I was in relationships that tended to be more on the abusive side out of fear of being alone and having to deal with the thoughts in my head.
What is one of your favorite quotes and why?
My favorite quote is “Everything will be ok in the end. If its not ok, its not the end”.
I mainly love this quote because there have been so many times in my life when I didn’t feel “ok”, and it kept me going and it kept me curious about the future
Do you have any aspirations for yourself over the next year or two and how do you plan to reach those goals?
I aspire to settle down and create roots and possibly a family. I’ve never had “true” roots as my parents divorced when I was very young and I spent my life moving and going back and forth from house to house. I’ve always kept my life in a figurative “backpack” so to speak, and I am looking forward to unpacking it soon.
Mental health priorities evolve with age and experience, what are one or two important pillars that make up the foundation of who you are today?
One pillar I would say is resilience, I know I am strong and full of courage and I have never really been a quitter (except for smoking lol). Another pillar I would say is an “inner knowing”. I’ve had it my whole life, my intuition has gotten stronger as I have learned to listen to it more. I just know things without being able to explain why or how. It gives me a lot of confidence in my decisions because I know I am listening to myself and no one else.
How do you manage your mental health?
I manage my mental health by listening to my body. I workout, eat (mostly) clean, meditate, journal, sign up for classes that will help me dig deeper, do a personal inventory daily, I say “no” when I want or need to without hesitation or guilt. Self care isn’t selfish its absolutely necessary.
In terms of “self-care” what do you do that a reader may be able to easily adopt into their life?
Self care to me is listening to my body and how it feels. Eating nutrient dense foods, taking bubble baths, getting sunshine, grounding, meditating, reading for fun or to learn, staying in when I need some downtime. I have personally been working on boundaries because those are harder for me, and very important.
It’s important to be supported, but how do you offer support to the people in your life?
I offer support in the form of open ears and an open heart. I am a good listener and I’m very compassionate. It’s very easy for me to relate to someone in grief or pain because I’ve sat in those feelings for a very long time. My friends and family know I am a phone call or a text away and I will do anything to make someone smile.
Anything else you’d like to tell our readers?
Healing and mental health isn’t always a straight linear path, it’s very much like a rollercoaster. I like to compare my setbacks to a bow and arrow, sometimes you feel you are being pulled backwards but it really is a setup to push you further into new territory. You are not a tree, if you don’t like where you are in life- move. Nothing is permanent in this life, so take a risk and don’t be afraid to jump out of the nest before you feel you are ready.
