The Mental Well Community Connections: Kyleigh Blain
In 3-5 sentences, tell us a little about you and your background. What is your name, where did you grow up, where are you now, any hobbies or other things about you that you’d like to share?
Greetings everyone – I want to start off by saying a huge Thank you! to Kim, Brittni and others at the Jewish Community Services for holding space so that others can share their stories and spread awareness to end the stigma surrounding Mental Health and highlight that fact that mental health plays a role in everyone's lives. Thank you for your mission here.
My name is Kyleigh B., I am 29 years old, my birthday is July 12th (Cancerian baby!), I work as an Executive Assistant and I studied Community Health at George Mason University right here in Fairfax, VA – Go Patriots! I grew up living in a few different parts of the DC, Maryland, Virginia (DMV) area with my parents and two siblings (one older brother and one older sister). When I was very young, from age 5 to about 12, I lived in the suburbs of Frederick, MD with my mother and at 13 I decided to move in with my father who lived in the buzzing city of Arlington, VA, where I spent my teen hood and early adulthood living.
Currently, I reside in the quaint city of Fairfax, VA and enjoying the many diverse experiences this area has to offer as far as culture, people, food, places and many more.
My hobbies include taking pleasure in Dance/Dance Fitness, exploring new types of wellness classes (i.e. Martial Arts, yoga, cycling, HIIT, pole, belly dance, meditation, etc.), hiking, singing, reading, art, concerts/festivals, cleaning, baking, trying new foods and learning about psychology, nutrition, mental health and self-improvement.
Do you prefer the mountains or beach? Why?
Between the mountains and the beach, although both environments are very beautiful and healing – I would prefer the beach. I prefer the beach because simply being there is meditative. There has always been something about being close to the water that is very comforting and serene to me. The smell of the salt in the air, the feel of the warm embrace from the sand below you and the sun kissing your skin – all these senses being engaged, encourage you to become so present while you are there
What is a really good book you’ve read or movie you’ve seen recently?
A really good book I have read recently is called Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins. It is a book that discusses David Goggins’, retired Navy SEAL, traumatizing childhood and life story but how he used the power of his own mind to turn his life around create a life he is inspired by even though he had so many obstacles to overcome – mentally, physically and spiritually.
Who do you look up to in your life and, if they were to read this, is there anything you would like to tell them?
The person I look up to the most is my sister. If she were to read this, I would want her to know that she is an extraordinary human being and THE best sister (and best friend) someone could truly ask for. I am so blessed to have her in my life. I am and always will be so thankful for her and proud of her. She is incredibly hard-working, creative, innovative, caring, humble, hilarious, accomplished, independent, thoughtful and beautiful (inside and out). One of the many reasons I look up to her is because she has overcome so many obstacles in her life and has really made such an amazing life for herself, ALL on her own. All while remaining optimistic, loving and kind. It is inspiring to look how far she has come. I am also extremely thankful to her for literally being there for me and loving me in all my forms and phases in life – providing the best guidance, support and openness. Thank you! I love you more than anything and I wish nothing but goodness and blessings for you. Lastly, I want her to know that she is more than ENOUGH and always has been since the day she arrived on this Earth. I love you, bug.
What is it about “mental health” that you are passionate about? Why? Any experience you’d like to share that brought this passion out?
I am very passionate about mental health because not only is it based on psychology - a limitless and ever-changing field of study regarding the human mind and behavior- which is fascinating to me. But I am also passionate about mental health because of the intense ripple effect it has in our lives.
Thinking back, the experience in my life where I believe my passion for mental health sparked was during my senior year of high school. Before that year, I had a normal amount of worry as a kid but something during that particular year of my life triggered multiple, consistent episodes of debilitating anxiety. One day, it just started in class and my thoughts were just racing and I felt like I was going to pass out right then and there from the internalized anxiety that started for almost no reason. I thought it was a freak, one-time event and it must have been something I ate or drank but it wasn’t…it continued to happen almost every single day, which you can imagine made it difficult to enjoy senior year. It became so severe that I would miss class to avoid the attacks, I became extremely sensitive to florescent lights that I couldn’t even be around when they were on in class – I would excuse myself, there were times I got too anxious to drive or even be in a car because I started to experience intense feelings of what I didn’t realize at the time was dissociation (which is terrifying when you have not experienced it before).
Thankfully, I had a lot of support from family and was able to seek a few options for diagnosis/treatment as a teen. I remember seeing multiple therapists, working with the school psychiatrist/counselors, going to get sleep tests, blood tests, EKG/ECG tests and even attempting to get an MRI scan of my brain (unfortunately, my anxiety attacks prevented me from staying in the machine to complete the scan!). At that time, I was finally diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Depression. I had also learned I had a family history of other mental health issues as well which were also depression, ADHD and Bi-polar disorder. The medical professionals I worked with wanted to prescribe Prozac and other medications (which I never decided to take) but since my diagnosis, which was over 10 years ago, I have strived to approach my mental health holistically by doing my best to live a healthy lifestyle and be proactive when it comes to maintenance.
The brain is like any other muscle in the body and needs to be challenged/exercised. I personally do this by trying my best to eat nutrient-dense delicious food, exercise regularly, getting adequate amount of sleep per night, having a support system and people you feel comfortable being yourself around, having monthly check-ins with my therapist (more if needed), journaling, time for solitude, serving others and practicing mindfulness/meditation often.
Overall, my diagnosis in high school, learning about my family’s mental health history and even now, learning about the mental health of my close friends – collectively, made me realize how essential continuing to learn about and to feed our mental health is. I am passionate about mental health because of the powerful impact it has on all other areas of our life – physical, social, spiritual, financial, etc. I feel proper mental health maintenance is the foundation for us to thrive.
What's a difficult situation you survived/came through/found resilience in? What did the experience teach you about yourself?
A difficult situation that I came through was isolation. By enduring not only the breakup of my long-term partner as well as ending two major friendships in my life right as the COVID-19 Pandemic was unfolding in 2020. To mourn the loss of multiple relationships (that simply just grew apart) as well as trying to understand and navigate a deadly, world-wide virus (as we ALL did, of course) was probably one of the most scary and vulnerable times I’ve experienced. It felt like a huge part of me was missing and I felt very lost for a while. There were many lonely nights that were filled with heart aching tears and just feelings of emptiness.
Thankfully, I was blessed to have had my family by my side the entire time to help each other navigate our emotions during such a stressful time. One day, I found myself throwing myself into fitness because it was the one thing to (1) get my mind off of the breakups and (2) distract myself and maintain routine during the Pandemic. But the exercise then started to encourage journaling/reading way more often and consistently, after that, I started getting excited to research and watch educational videos about “mental health”, “How to Love yourself”, “self-care”, “self-esteem” and “healing” from various traumas and losses. I was slowly but surely rediscovering and even rebuilding a new version of myself through internal work that I did during the Pandemic.
I rebuilt myself, I healed and for the first time I finally felt genuine self-love for myself. Looking back at this unique experience, I realized I survived extreme heartache on top of worldwide adversity – this taught me that I am very resilient and that I do genuinely love myself and do not need the validations of others to help me feel that.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” -Mahatma Ghandi
If you could tell your younger self something, what would it be and why?
I would tell my younger self to not let what others say or think about you determine who you become…because no matter how or what you are doing in this life, people will ALWAYS have an opinion whether it is positive, negative or neutral but the only one that matters is YOURS. Be what you authentically want to be in this life because that is what will bring out your gifts. By letting your gifts shine, you’ll make this world a better place. And we need that goodness.
What is one of your favorite quotes and why?
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
This is my favorite quote because it is a soft reminder to always be present and show up in kindness for those around you. You truly never know what others are battling on the inside and making them feel safe, heard or seen is probably the best gift you can give someone no matter what.
Do you have any aspirations for yourself over the next year or two and how do you plan to reach those goals?
The main aspiration I have for myself over the next year or two is to improve my physical and mental health by reaching my goal weight. I plan to reach my goal weight by eating more whole foods, staying within my daily caloric intake, having an accountability partner(s) and increasing body movement on a regular basis. This is one of my major goals of the year because I noticed if my health/nutrition are good, and my weight is down, it drastically improves my depression/anxiety and I notice my self-esteem increases as well.
Mental health priorities evolve with age and experience, what are one or two important pillars that make up the foundation of who you are today?
Two important pillars of mental health that make up who I am today are (1) Physical Health and (2) Social Health. I found that maintaining physical health for me goes hand and hand and is directly related to how I am doing mentally on a regular basis. Filling my body with nutrients helps me think and process more clearly. In addition, having consistent body movement that I enjoy, like dance fitness! Really helps me channel emotions I have had throughout the day and keep my anxiety/depression at bay.
Regarding the Social Health pillar, this is an area I am newly tapping into with more and more vulnerability. Recently, I have become self-aware that I unintentionally ignore my social needs for example, not asking for help or expressing myself openly to others. This is something I have slowly been working on and breaking down my walls with those close to me in my life and sharing more exclusively.
How do you manage your mental health?
A handful of actions I take to best mange my mental health are trying my best to eat nutrient-dense delicious food, exercise regularly, getting adequate amount of sleep per night, having a support system and people you feel comfortable being yourself around, having monthly check-ins with my therapist (more if needed), journaling, time for solitude, serving others and practicing mindfulness often.
In terms of “self-care” what do you do that a reader may be able to easily adopt into their life?
Two things that come to mind that a reader may be able to easily adopt into their life to practice more self-care is ask themselves at least once a day, “What do I need at this time?” (i.e. food, movement, expression, space/quiet, sleep, etc.). A life coach brought this practice to me that I still use often. It is helpful because you are stepping out of yourself and asking what you need as if you are in the eyes of a caregiver to someone else. Once you have identified your need in that moment, you’ll notice a positive shift in energy (maybe feeling less anxious, drained, tired, angry, sad, etc.) as well as the comfort that you can trust yourself to self-regulate.
It’s important to be supported, but how do you offer support to the people in your life?
Having a support system is so crucial to mental health. The way I personally like to provide support to the people in my life are doing my best to show up for them whether it is being at an important event for them, bringing them a meal, doing a chore for them, sending them a note or call and let them know I am thinking of them or even just offering the space to listen without judgment, if they need to talk or express themselves.
What is something you wish more people knew about Mental Health?
Something that I wish more people knew about Mental Health is that it is not a “one-size-fits-all” type of situation. Each condition, diagnosis, trauma, trigger, healing process and treatment are valid but are also distinctly unique to the individual. No two people on Earth will ever have the same exact experience when it comes to their mental health, and it is so important to confront each person’s situation with empathy and understanding. I believe it is also critical to keep in mind that mental health is not only dependent on experiences and trauma but also their physical brain chemistry composition plays a huge part in it as well.
Anything else you’d like to tell our readers?
Never stop learning about mental health and hearing people’s stories - You’ll gain a vast amount of insight and empathy for others. It will truly change the way you see the world and you’ll grow a new appreciation for life. And to also…Never ever, ever give up.
