The Mental Well Community Connections: Lauren Hatch Pokhrel
In 3-5 sentences, tell us a little about you and your background. What is your name, where did you grow up, where are you now, any hobbies or other things about you that you’d like to share?
My name is Lauren Hatch Pokhrel. I am from central Pennsylvania but have been living on the Eastern Shore of Maryland for the last nine years. I am currently a mother of two boys, an English instructor, a writing consultant, and earning my doctorate degree in Literacy Studies. When I’m not wrangling my children or working, I am usually doing a Peloton ride or working out at the gym! I also enjoy cooking, journaling, reading, dancing, and spending time with my loved ones.
Do you prefer the mountains or beach? Why?
Even though I’m from a valley surrounded by mountains in Pennsylvania, I have always preferred the beach, which is one of the reasons I ended up moving to one!
What is a really good book you’ve read or movie you’ve seen recently?
I honestly enjoyed the new Martha Stewart documentary on HBO Max (“The Many Lives of Martha Stewart”). I think it does a great job of showing her overall life trajectory as it relates to major cultural movements such as second-wave feminism and cultural changes into the 21st century.
Who do you look up to in your life and, if they were to read this, is there anything you would like to tell them?
One person I look up to is my older sister. She is 19 years older than me, so she’s lived a lot more life than I have! She’s changed so much throughout her life and reminds me that there’s always the possibility to live as authentically as you can. She’s also been through one of the hardest experiences someone could endure but has used that to help others heal through grief, trauma, and loss.
What is it about “mental health” that you are passionate about? Why? Any experience you’d like to share that brought this passion out?
From a young age I’ve struggled with mental health in various ways (who doesn’t, honestly?!). I can trace any major moment of my life and think about how my mental health was during those particular times. Currently, I’m especially passionate about mental health for new/young mothers because of the way motherhood has irrevocably changed me and impacted my mental health in positive and challenging ways. Since I was young, I’ve always tried to find ways to work through mental health challenges and put practices into place to support my overall well-being. Recently, this looks like exercise, meditating, therapy, journaling, taking mental and physical breaks from work/home life, and committing to these kinds of daily activities that help me feel good.
What's a difficult situation you survived/came through/found resilience in? What did the experience teach you about yourself?
Becoming a mother with my first child and then navigating having my second child two years later has been one of the hardest situations I’ve faced. I write about this a lot elsewhere, but the profound lifestyle, spiritual, physical changes going from being childless to having a baby was a major shift I didn’t expect (I definitely TRIED to anticipate those changes, but I don’t believe anything can totally prepare you for that experience other than living through it). I had just finished graduate school and rather than spending my time reading/researching for hours (I honestly love it!) or being out and about, I was home alone with a baby, suddenly on an entirely new timeline (diaper change, bottle, nap, etc.!). When I had my second baby, during Covid, I experienced another identity and lifestyle shift, now trying to manage to take care of two young children who both needed me. Through time and grace, I’ve slowly and gradually put supports into place that have helped me out of some of the darkest days during that time. And actively work everyday to nourish and nurture my self, my body, and my mental health.
If you could tell your younger self something, what would it be and why?
I wish I could tell myself to worry less! Worry less about what others think about you, about any things that could go wrong, about the future, etc.
What is one of your favorite quotes and why?
I love this quote by Elizabeth Gilbert from Eat, Pray, Love: “The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve... Even in the Eternal City (Rome), says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation.”
I love this quote because it demonstrates that nothing really stays the same—to live life is to constantly be in relationship to change—with ourselves, with others, with anything that we think is “fixed” and stable. But it is in accepting “endless waves of transformation,” especially of ourselves, that we can really be free to change, to accept, and to grow.
Do you have any aspirations for yourself over the next year or two and how do you plan to reach those goals?
I don’t have any major goals in particular for the next year or two—just to manage continuing through my graduate program, navigating motherhood, and finding some time to have fun in between! I would like to try some different fitness classes in attempts to meet some new friends!
Mental health priorities evolve with age and experience, what are one or two important pillars that make up the foundation of who you are today?
For me, movement and exercise is really important to my mental health. It gives me energy, boosts my mood, and relieves stress—as cliché as that sounds. It helps me get out of my head and focus on what feels good in my body. I also struggle with my mental health most around certain times during my menstrual cycle, so I track my moods with that which has been a game changer. I know when I feel energized and overall happy versus when I really need to rest to avoid becoming more irritable. As much as possible, I try to schedule my month out around my cycle, so I know when I’ll have more capacity to be social or more productive versus when I need to withdraw and rest. And of course—therapy!
How do you manage your mental health?
I manage my mental health by continuing to practice the daily activities that help me feel GOOD overall: exercise, therapy, tracking my cycle, and really just checking in with myself moment by moment to reflect on how I’m feeling.
In terms of “self-care” what do you do that a reader may be able to easily adopt into their life?
I would recommend any of the activities I’ve been mentioning here that pique your interest. Start small—for example, when I say that I meditate (almost) daily, I’m really just doing a ten minute meditation video. But this helps me to embody a sense of calmness and gives me an opportunity to really ask myself how I am feeling on that day or in that moment. Whether it’s journaling, exercise, etc. I recommend starting small for 10 minutes or so at a time so that it becomes easier to continue to do throughout each day.
It’s important to be supported, but how do you offer support to the people in your life?
I try to offer support by just being a calm, listening ear for someone who needs it—or offer some encouragement or a space for someone to just share what they’re struggling with. Frankly, when I am struggling, I really don’t want any more solutions to think about, I just want to vent and express how I’m feeling, so I try to offer that as well.
What is something you wish more people knew about Mental Health?
I think thinking about mental health as something separate from our bodies and daily realities can be problematic. Rather, at least for me, mental health is all about the daily practices I cultivate to help my body and mind be in a good space. At the same time, different phases of our lives call us towards different needs (and limitations), so it’s important to sort out what is feasible for you to do for your mental health that is sustainable.
Anything else you’d like to tell our readers?
I love connecting with new people, so if anything that I said here is of interest to you, please reach out!