Why "Trauma Dumping" Isn't Helpful
In recent times, the term "trauma dumping" has entered discussions about mental health and emotional support. Coined to describe instances where individuals share their traumatic experiences without considering the listener's well-being, this concept has sparked debates in therapeutic circles and online forums. While acknowledging the need for boundaries and self-care, it's crucial to avoid labeling such expressions as "dumping," which oversimplifies the complexities of trauma and human connection.
Trauma is a deeply personal and isolating experience. People who have been through traumatic events may struggle to articulate their feelings or find supportive channels for processing emotions. When someone does open up about their trauma, it shows trust and vulnerability. However, some disclosures are met with dismissal or judgment, compounding feelings of shame and alienation. Last month, I created a reel for The Mental Well about how to respond when people ask if I’m ok, and the first comment (which has since been been deleted by the commenter) was “Just say ‘I’m ok.’ It’s what society expects. No need to trauma dump on people.”
Even though they missed the point of the reel, this comment still made me feel bad.
The term "trauma dumping" implies a lack of empathy or understanding on the speaker's part, suggesting they unload burdens without regard for others' feelings or support capacity. While discussing trauma can be emotionally hard on both parties, calling these moments of sharing "dumping" ignores the potential for genuine connection and healing. On the other hand, approaching these conversations with empathy and curiosity fosters understanding and support. Active listening, validation, and empathy are powerful tools for aiding individuals who have experienced trauma.
Labeling someone as a "trauma dumper" can perpetuate stigma and deter individuals from seeking help when needed. Fear of judgment may prevent people from reaching out, leading to further isolation. Instead of shaming individuals, we should foster safe environments for sharing experiences without fear of condemnation.
With that said, supporting someone through trauma isn’t always easy. You need boundaries and self-care. Listening to others' pain can be draining, especially if you are dealing with your own struggles. Setting boundaries and practicing self-care are vital, but there are better ways to communicate these needs without labeling.
It’s also important to acknowledge the social construct surrounding expressions of well-being. The reflexive response of "I'm okay" to "How are you?" reflects societal norms rather than genuine feelings. Recognizing this can foster empathy and encourage authentic dialogue. I was in a team meeting the other week and my manager asked us “How are you all doing?” We all replied, “I’m ok” or “I’m good.” She paused and said “great, but how are you REALLY?”
Each of us then spent three to five minutes sharing how we really were and what had been going on in our lives. Simply being asked again helped us to realize that our manager was ready to actively listen and listen with compassion, giving us a safe space to share. She wanted our genuine answers.
Approaching interactions with sensitivity and compassion allows individuals to feel comfortable sharing struggles and seeking help. By breaking down barriers and fostering genuine connections, we create supportive environments.
