Unsubscribe from the Noise

It happens every few months or so for me. The noise simply gets too loud as distractions pop up around every corner - notifications enter the conversation unannounced, instagram posts beg for attention like a needy ex on New Year’s Eve while emails crowd my inbox before I’ve even poured my morning coffee. 

My mind becomes unquiet and much like the 2020 Presidential Debate, there is so much talking, yet, so little being said. 

We have grown accustomed to this noise so much that the quiet often feels terrifying. To sit alone with our thoughts becomes option D, and we avoid it at all costs. So we begin looking for more noise, more empty fillers, hoping just one will be the answer to our most longing question. We shop, drink, inject. We eat, spend, and scroll. We sleep, date, and work.

We keep turning outward toward the giant abyss of distraction masked as priority and pleasure rather than looking inward for clarity and peace - two essential ingredients for authentic fulfillment. 

A few weeks ago, I found myself feeling scattered and overwhelmed. Work assignments piled up, the YouTube channel I had decided was my quarantine passion project went un-created, and my studio apartment turned home-office was beginning to look like an AD for Netflix’s new home makeover show, The Home Edit. 

How was it that I was working so many hours, yet things didn’t seem to be getting done? I started to feel like I was failing at being a 30-year-old adult, and I wasn’t even planning a wedding or caring for children like so many of my friends. That night, I sat down like 73 million other people across the country, and watched the 2020 Presidential Debate. And within minutes, I was flooded with countless thoughts and emotions, all of which led me to the realization that I was subscribing to the noise and wondering why I felt so disconnected from my own truth.

The next day I went to an outdoor yoga class as that felt like the logical step to reconnect to my center. And as I was lying in Savasana, I had a very clear download: I needed to take inventory of how I was spending my time so I could notice what was no longer working for me. I separated the inventory into five categories - action, frequency of action, what I was gaining from each action, what I was losing from each action, and how I could alter each action to better serve me, because if something wasn’t serving me, what was the point? 

It looked like this:

My Inventory:

One

Action: checking my email inbox for all three email accounts I have (work, personal, side business)

Frequency of Action: multiple times an hour, as soon as my eyes opened for the day

Gain from Action: feeling up to date on work assignments, thinking I’m being productive

Loss from Action: not focused fully on the assignment at hand, extremely scattered, unproductive

Altered Action to Better Serve Me: create 2-3 time slots during the day when I intentionally check my email, include these time slots at the end of each email so people know when to expect a response from me (example: I check email from 9-9:15AM, 12-12:15PM and 3-3:15PM). Exceptions can obviously be made depending on workload.

Two

Action: Scrolling through Instagram on all three accounts that I have (work, personal, side business) 

Frequency of Action: multiple times an hour, as soon as my eyes opened for the day

Gain from Action: knowing what everyone is up to at all moments of the day (highly overrated)

Loss from Action: losing focus, getting distracted, wasting time, feeling down about myself, unproductive

Altered Action to Better Serve Me: Take a few days, weeks, or months off of social media to step away from comparison mode and information overload. Replace the action with something that makes me feel good - reading/writing, passion project, going for a walk, or working out.

Three

Action: Going on online dating apps to try and meet my hunky hunky partner

Frequency of Action: multiple times a day to see if anyone has liked or messaged me

Gain from Action: feeling validated by others, potentially moving closer to a partnership 

Loss from Action: feeling sad when there weren’t any messages, feeling like I was wasting valuable time, and putting my sense of self worth in the hands of someone else

Altered Action to Better Serve Me: Create boundaries for myself around how often I login to my account. Limit it to two days a week. Affirm myself on a daily basis to own my self-worth. And if/when I need to, take the apps off my phone and take a break. They will be there whenever I’m ready to try it again! My inner peace is the priority.

Four

Action: Watching and reading the news to stay up to date on local, national, and global affairs. 

Frequency of Action: afternoon lunch break and evening time after dinner

Gain from Action: knowing all the bad things happening in our world (gain???)

Loss from Action: my sanity and any sense of good things happening in the world 

Altered Action to Better Serve Me: Find a news source that shares more diverse news (the good with the bad), and who reports on facts rather than fake news. Come back to what actions I can personally take in my own community to create positive change. Sign up for volunteer opportunities around Baltimore. Register to VOTE.

It’s been two weeks since I started implementing my altered actions to better serve me. I created time slots for when I check my emails, I went off of social media and online dating, and I’ve volunteered twice to pick up trash, weed, and plant trees in Baltimore neighborhoods that often get overlooked. I went from watching the news highlight racial tensions in the city to having super honest in-person conversations with black people in the community about what we can do to come together and create lasting change. I’ve created a priority list for my YouTube Channel and have delved in during my free time. I’ve been moving my body every day and journaling at night before bed. 

They seem like such small changes, but I can tell you that for the first time in months, I feel empowered and hopeful. I have consciously unsubscribed from the noise, and in its place a sense of quiet has creeped in, and I can finally hear the sound of my own voice. And that voice has guided me to my highest good in this moment. 

What is one altered action you can make today? Start with just one thing, commit to it, and pay attention to the result. Remember, there is beauty in the sound of silence. Liste...