What if YOU are the Bully?
We live in a world drenched in snark. Online comments, sarcastic texts, snippy emails, and witty comebacks have become part of our daily routine. Most of us have been on the receiving end of these sharp remarks, but let’s be honest—sometimes we're the ones dishing it out.
Why do we feel so smug after delivering what we think is a clever retort to someone’s perceived flaw? For one thing, snark is contagious. When we feel hurt or threatened by someone’s rudeness, we carry that sting with us and pass it on to others. You read something snide about you on Facebook in the morning, and suddenly, you're scowling at the world, snapping at the Starbucks barista. Then the barista, now frustrated, tweets something rude to a random acquaintance, and the cycle continues.
We also wield snark like a shield, using wit and sass to protect ourselves. It’s a classic defense mechanism: strike before you get struck. We use snark as a defense mechanism because it gives us a sense of control in uncomfortable situations. It’s a quick, easy way to build a wall between ourselves and perceived threats, shielding us from vulnerability. When we feel exposed—whether someone’s criticizing us, ignoring us, or even just misunderstanding us—our instinct is to fire back with something sharp and clever. It’s a preemptive strike that keeps others from getting too close to our insecurities. The problem is, snark doesn’t actually protect us. Instead, it often reinforces the very feelings we’re trying to avoid, leaving us more isolated and misunderstood. It creates distance instead of fostering connection, perpetuating a cycle where both sides feel defensive, unheard, and ready to strike again.
But there’s another layer to this. In a world where we’re constantly plugged in, silence or boredom can feel unbearable, even for just a few minutes. So online, we poke and prod, playing Devil’s Advocate just to stir the pot.
So how do we break this cycle? Cold turkey. Before you hit send, before the sarcastic quip escapes your mouth, or before you roll your eyes so far back you see your brain—pause. Ask yourself: Who is actually going to benefit from what you’re about to say? If the answer is no one, take a breath. Close your laptop, put down your phone, and just breathe. It’s a beautiful day.
