Want To Manifest? Find Your Expanders
When people ask me how I got into the profession of public speaking and blogging, I tell them that my childhood sort of set me up for it.
My father raised me on motivational speakers like Tony Robbins and Jim Rohn who preached about following your dreams and reaching your goals. I remember being in first grade driving to a soccer game with my Dad, and him guiding me through a visualization exercise which asked me to imagine myself kicking a soccer ball into a net, scoring a goal for my team. “If you see it, Elizabeth, you can achieve it,” he lovingly explained to my 6-year-old self.
I’ve pretty much been hooked on self-help and personal development ever since.
With age however, I have gravitated towards females in the industry whose work resonates and inspires me on a much deeper level than the men I was raised to learn from. Lacy Phillips, a manifestation advisor, has been a source of much wisdom for me over the last year. One concept she speaks on that has served me greatly is the importance of having expanders in our lives.
An expander, Lacy explains on her podcast, To Be Magnetic, is someone who has created or achieved something in their life that we desire to also have or create. It can be a romantic partner, a purposeful career, a gorgeous beachfront home, a group of supportive and encouraging friends, an essence of joy that carries them through their days, a debt-free life, an empathetic and calming nature, a new puppy...really anything.
“…When we watch a movie and get entranced by an actor, or a character in a book, or obsess over a public figure, or on social media, or someone that we admire in our daily lives – we are actually recognizing aspects of ourselves (denied or unmet) that have yet to integrate, and they are inviting us to grow into them,” Lacy explains on her blog.
An expander shows our subconscious that what we desire can indeed be manifested, and furthermore, that the reason we are attracted to them in the first place is because we know we are meant to be the same way or create the same things. We are literally being pulled into the direction of our purpose.
This concept is based on simple neuroscience and the creation of mirror neurons.
Just like my Dad’s visualization exercise with the soccer ball taught me to picture what I wanted already being manifested (scoring a goal), expanders show us that what we desire exists in the world, and therefore it is possible for us to have it, too. We don’t need to be envious of or intimidated by expanders, nor do we need to put them on a pedestal and idolize them; instead we can be curious about and excited by what they’ve created in their own lives, and realize we can manifest the same.
It’s not that expanders are these perfect beings who have mastered life; they are simply everyday people, like you and me, who have flourished in certain areas, and because of this, they can expand us on our own journeys. In fact, you, too, are probably an expander for someone else in your own life. (Pretty cool, eh?)
Once we find expanders for different aspects of our lives - career, romance, friendship, money, possessions, and so forth - we can make it part of our daily routine to:
Follow and scroll through their social media accounts and learn from what they share
Spend time with them if they are people we know intimately (we are greatly influenced by the people we spend time with)
Learn from them by listening to their podcasts, reading their books, or signing up for their workshops
Study them by researching their life stories or asking them questions about how they manifested what we desire
Make a list that includes all of our expanders to remind us that our dreams are possible when our fear or sense of low self-worth sets in and tries to tell us to give up on something we feel called towards
At the moment, my expanders for my career are the very successful authors, speakers, and creators, Elizabeth Gilbert, Cheryl Strayed, Issa Rae, Lacy Phillips, Glennon Doyle, Christina Hassler, and Oprah (obvi). They all have used their life experiences to empower others to live extraordinary lives, something I dream to do one day through writing books, going on speaking tours, and creating an online community. In addition, I’m also super attracted to Lacy’s fashion sense and hat collection (#goals), Elizabeth Gilbert’s and Cheryl Strayed’s moving writing styles, Glennon Doyle’s unapologetic honesty about life, Issa Rae’s humor and creative vision, Christine Hassler’s independence and entrepreneurial talents, and Oprah’s…well, everything.
My expanders for relationships include my friends Luke and Kathleen, and celebrity couples Kristen Bell and Jax Sheppard, and Chrissy Tiegan and John Legend. All of these couples have a very joyful vibe about them. Humor and wit are apparent in their connection with one another, as are commitment, adventure, passion, and support for one another’s careers. All of these characteristics are extremely attractive to me, and when I witness these couples, I find myself instantly captivated and emotionally moved by their sacred bond.
“…every single one of us inhabits the full spectrum of humanness, those very aspects of these people that are bringing you so much inspiration are actually a reflection of aspects of you that have gotten lost due to societal, media, parental, or peer programming,” Lacy says.
Not to worry, these aspects can be born again.
If you are curious about finding your own expanders, choose something in your life that you would like to manifest and then ask yourself these questions:
Who do I know that I feel drawn to almost instantly?
When I look at this person, what do I find appealing about them?
What is this person’s vibe that draws me to them? Is it something about their personality? Their career? The vacations they go on? Their relationship? The way they talk or how they dress?
What characteristics about this person resonate with me/remind me of myself?
What is their life story - are there any overlaps or similarities with my story?
How can I learn from this person? Do they have a book, podcast or course? Can I spend time with them? Can I reach out and learn more about how they got to where they are?
Can this person help me become super clear on my desired manifestation? Do I realize details about their life that I would really like for my own?
What can I learn from this person?
Have fun looking for expanders for yourself! Allow yourself to be inspired and moved by what they’ve manifested. Then once you soak up their awesomeness, ask yourself how you can take action in this moment to get you closer to your desired manifestation. My two actions today are writing this blog (check!) and making a list of all the qualities I’m looking for in a partner so I can continue on with confidence and clarity, knowing in my heart that what I desire does in fact exist; my expanders are proof, and I too, can find it.
Happy expanding!
