Navigating Holiday Anxiety
REAL TALK— The holidays can bring up A LOT of anxiety for people.
You go to a family gathering and end up surrounded by different personalities and a whole lot of opinions. Not to mention that one family member who comments on every part of your personal life that you do NOT wish to talk about or possibly have different views on.
*My friend’s company is hiring, let me get you an interview!* 🤨🙄 I HAVE A JOB ALREADY.
*When are you going to settle down and get married? I really liked your last boyfriend.* 😳😣 I DON’T KNOW AUNT SUSAN. PROBABLY NEVER.
*You know your baby-clock is ticking!* 😑😫 SERIOUSLY!?!!
Or maybe for you there are other stressful things going on at home— addiction, mental illness, death. So how do we deal? How do we navigate the anxiety that comes with the holidays?
First, I want you to take time this morning to do something for YOURSELF. Fill your own cup. For about 7 years now I have always exercised on Thanksgiving morning. It grounds me, gets my breath going, and makes me happy. I typically exercise in silence because I know the rest of the day will be L-O-U-D. So what’s filling your cup look like for you? A walk? A big breakfast alone with your partner? A dance party alone in your apartment? Whatever it is, carve out space for that before you visit your family.
Second and third, before you go to your family gathering, I want you to do two things.
1. Think of a mantra that you can come to when you start to loose your cool. A couple examples are “I cannot control others” or “I control my peace”. When pesky Aunt Susan asks you something for the millionth time, remember your mantra. Say it in your head over and over again and believe those words.
2. Go over scenarios in your head of what you might think will happen. Let Aunt Susan ask you those pesky questions in your head and respond to them. Have a plan of action. That way, when it happens forreal, you won’t get so bent out of shape. It might even make you laugh because you already saw it coming, word for word!
And Fourth, I want you to remember that you can LEAVE the party. You are not obligated to stay any longer than you want. To quote Ema Lee from her latest blog “And if you have guilt, choose the guilt of leaving over the anger of staying.”
Deep breaths, my friends.
