Summertime

Most people say that they love summer— the extended days, more sunlight, better weather, a slower pace, the cookouts, vacations, the list goes on. But have you ever thought that maybe going to school for 12 years has just conditioned us to love summer because it was the only chance we got to slow down and do what we needed to for ourselves? It forced us into a much-needed break.

If you think about it, summer can actually be pretty awful. The hot weather, the storms (though they are fun to watch if your kids and pets don’t mind them), kids out of school, the mosquitoes, the behind-the-scenes of planning and packing for vacation, this list goes on, too.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the summer, but it’s still not in my top 2 favorite seasons (hello fall and spring). This is the second year that I am working remotely as a mom, and my kids are out of school. Just that situation alone feels impossible– and I'm one of the lucky ones whose job understands that I’m a parent and gives me the flexibility to make my life manageable. Manageable, not easy.

We have friends and family that take their long vacations or even short-day trips, or whose kids are in multiple camps throughout the summer and listening to them is when my “comparison/mom guilt” seeps in. I SHOULD plan trips (with all my imaginary money) sign my kids up for camps (more imaginary money), I SHOULD be out enjoying every drop of sunlight with my kids, because as social media so kindly points out I only “get 18 summers with them”. But then I feel guilty that I’m not working or taking care of the house. I’m working on turning down the mom-guilt.

But honestly, when did summer become this big production? Growing up in the 80s and 90s (hello millennials) the summer was my free time. No school and no parents! Why? Because both of my parents worked out of the house, and I had older siblings who could watch us/keep us alive. But there was zero structure to my day. I woke up when I wanted to and then entertained myself until bedtime, with food thrown in when I remembered. I had friends that went to summer camps, or to their grandparents' house (mine were too old to want to hang out with us) or belonged to pools, but not us. And guess what? I thought summer was great! I played with neighborhood friends, read books, colored, watched TV, and, most importantly, I created roller-skating routines in my cul-de-sac to perform in the evening for my parents (nothing quite like your 10-year-old daughter and her friend performing a routine to Madonna’s “Holiday”). Again, I LOVED summer growing up because it was the time of year when I could be selfish. I had no real responsibilities, I mean we did have to make sure the chicken was dethawed for dinner and the laundry was put away, but that was it. No work, just fun.

My summers were the best times without all the added adult planned “fun things”.

I’m an adult now, with kids, in a much different world than 30 years ago. As I mentioned, I’m working on letting go of the comparisons and guilt. Now my goal for the summer is to survive it! Kidding, but not totally. I just want to be more present when I’m with my kids. When I work, they have to figure out what to do, but when I’m not working, I am a parent, NOT a cruise director. My kids are learning to entertain themselves and find things to do. They are also learning that if they tell me they are bored, I will HAPPILY give them things to do— clean their room, wash the dishes, take the trash out, you get the idea. Of course, they ask for video games no less than 5 times a day and “can we have a snack” is the soundtrack of my life, but my kids are fine. They are building forts, digging holes, writing stories, playing and having a great summer. Best thing of all? I’m not having to stress to make that happen. They are living the carefree, low responsibility summer that I remember as a kid and THAT is enough.

We are headed to the beach at the end of the summer (we did go every year growing up and I’m sure it was stressful for my parents to plan and pack and get us all there), but if between now and then I can give my kids a relaxing, low responsibility, mental break kind of summer, I will count it as a success.

Happy Summer!