The Power of Reframing Your Thoughts
Last week I had an appointment to get my hair cut and colored at 6pm on a Thursday. With three kids at home, it’s really hard for me to leave right smack in the middle of the dinner and bedtime rush, however, my incredibly husband gladly sent me on my way. Now, I can count on one hand how many nights this year I have missed the bedtime rush so needless to say, I was feeling excited to skip the chaos and have a night to pamper myself.
As a way to help my husband be less outnumbered during the evening chaos, I let our baby skip her afternoon nap so she would go to bed right at 6 o’clock PM. At 5:30pm my plan was in motion, and I was on my merry way.
Oblivious to the wild rumpus at home, I enjoyed silence in my car on the way to my hair appointment and it was *chef’s kiss* perfection. My spa night was beginning, and I did not look back.
That is, until I did. I noticed a lot of text messages coming in from my husband. First, that our baby had woken up and was clearly hungry. This is a major problem because she is EBF (exclusively breastfed) and I am the source of her milk. Luckily, at 7 months old she really loves solid food, so my husband was able to give her a small meal. But, of course, that did not satisfy her needs, and, unbeknownst to me until I got home from my appointment, she continued to fuss at him until about 10 minutes before I got home and then settled in for the night until her usual 2am date with me.
Back to the salon—my husband was texting me about our baby and then continued to tell me that our middle little refused to let him help her get ready for bed. Additionally, our oldest little was also waiting for mom to come home.
Sigh.
I am the first to admit that this was not my expectation of my night, and I felt extremely angry, resentful, and disappointed in those moments. My internal dialogue went something like this, “I just wanted a night off. Why can I never ever have a night off? Bedtime is the hardest part of most of my days, now I have to go home and do bedtime when I was supposed to have a break.”
And there it is... I have to go home and do bedtime. I have to. Meaning I am not choosing to do the task. Using the phrase “have to” expresses that I am not actually required to do something and causes you go to into victim thought patterns.
Except I am not a victim of motherhood, or my life, for that matter. I am very much in the driver's seat and, therefore, I get to do the task.
I get to do bedtime with my kids. I get to kiss their heads and sing the exact two songs they love, smell their heads and hold them close. How beautiful is that? I am no longer the victim and, instead, I’m present, willing, and grateful that I get to be an active participant in my own life and do all the things my incredible life allows me to do.
I get to. So simple, yet so powerful.
So, the power of reframing your inner dialogue/self-talk is a priceless key that you hold and always have access to. You just need to remember to use it.
