The Mental Well Community Connections: Emily Smith

In 3-5 sentences, tell us a little about you and your background. What is your name, where did you grow up, where are you now, any hobbies or other things about you that you’d like to share?

My name is Emily, and I grew up in the northeast suburbs of Baltimore in Bel Air, Maryland. I moved to Portland, Oregon six years ago for a job while working in the advertising industry, and fell in love with the Northwest. I’ve since changed careers but still enjoy living here, though I’m often homesick at the same time. I’m currently in graduate school studying Marriage, Couples, and Family Therapy and will be starting my clinical internship at a group therapy practice in May. In my free time I love going on hikes with my partner Scott, reading books, knitting, and hanging out with friends and/or my cat Olive. :)

Do you prefer the mountains or beach? Why? 

I love the beach most of all. The sound of waves calms my thoughts and busy mind, and walking next to the ocean brings me a lot of peace. I also love swimming in the ocean or jumping in when I get hot, then laying out on a towel with a good book. The ocean is beautiful in so many different types of weather! I also think it’s a great metaphor for life. Like the ocean, life ebbs and flows, sometimes with crashing waves and sometimes gentle.

What is a really good book you’ve read or movie you’ve seen recently? 

I just finished reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid and it was soooo good. It was the perfect combination of juicy romance drama, a mystery, and some real depth about the human experience. I loved it and am so excited it’s going to be made into a movie or tv show!

Who do you look up to in your life and, if they were to read this, is there anything you would like to tell them? 

I look up to my partner quite a lot. He rebuilt his entire life after a decade of active addiction and has shown me how possible it is to be humble, admit mistakes, grow, change, and start over - even from your lowest point. I would (and do!) tell him that he’s an inspiration to me, and it’s an honor to witness how far he’s come and the life he lives now in recovery. I believe we all evolve through the relationships we have with others, and this relationship gives me a lot of hope in seeing what people are capable of.

What is it about “mental health” that you are passionate about? Why? Any experience you’d like to share that brought this passion out?  

As a new therapist, I feel passionate about helping people cultivate awareness of their mental health and their needs, and working with them to develop both self-compassion and equitable relationships. Studying family therapy has shown me how interconnected we all are and how deeply our relationships impact our wellbeing. I’m also passionate about helping people find connection to the world around them through non-human life like nature and animals. :)

What's a difficult situation you survived/came through/found resilience in? What did the experience teach you about yourself? 

My best friend died of cancer three years ago, which turned my whole world upside down. I realized how short life is and how nothing is ever guaranteed. Grief around this untimely loss is something I am still learning to carry and it will always be a part of me… this experience has taught me about the “both/and” of life like nothing else. I miss my friend daily, and I also find joy and beauty in my life today. I have learned to carry and feel conflicting emotions at once, and it adds more depth and nuance to the way I move through the world.

If you could tell your younger self something, what would it be and why? 

I think I’d tell myself not to take anything too seriously. We’re all figuring things out as we go. It’s best to stay grounded in the present moment as much as we can, try our best, let go when needed, and keep moving forward.

What is one of your favorite quotes and why? 

"I don't think there is any truth. There are only points of view." - Allen Ginsberg.

Kind of speaks to the above idea of not taking things too seriously, and helps me navigate my own worldview, relationships with others, conflict, etc.! It’s freeing to remember there is no universal right or wrong way to do most things; only opinions.

Do you have any aspirations for yourself over the next year or two and how do you plan to reach those goals? 

The next year is big for me since I’m about to embark on a new career journey! I get overwhelmed when I think about all of the details it will take to get there, so I plan to reach my goals by taking it one day at a time. Future tripping and spiraling into anxiety can be common for me when I have big goals, so I do my best when I just think about doing “the next right thing” as opposed to “all of the things” I have to do.

Mental health priorities evolve with age and experience, what are one or two important pillars that make up the foundation of who you are today? 

Getting enough sleep, eating well, and generally taking good care of myself 2. Checking in with others and talking through difficult situations. Processing in a vacuum isn’t good for me!

How do you manage your mental health? 

Getting enough sleep, eating well, and generally taking good care of myself 2. Checking in with others and talking through difficult situations. Processing in a vacuum isn’t good for me!

In terms of “self-care” what do you do that a reader may be able to easily adopt into their life? 

I think trusting myself and my own needs is most important when it comes to caring for myself. It’s different for everyone, but knowing when to say no, when to reach out, when to take a day trip, when to get lost in a book, when to plan a fun date night has been a big key for me. Our needs change all the time so developing an awareness of what that means for you, and being able to adapt to what you need moment to moment, is important.

It’s important to be supported, but how do you offer support to the people in your life? 

I love to be a listening ear for the people in my life. I have a real interest and empathy for the struggles people go through, and I know it’s better when we can be open and trust others with what that looks like. I also love sending cards and brightening people's days however I can!

Anything else you’d like to tell our readers? 

I’m thinking of a twist on the classic golden rule, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” I think you should also treat yourself the way you treat the people you love the most! You always deserve it :