The Mental Well Community Connections: Michael Mann

In 3-5 sentences, tell us a little about you and your background. What is your name, where did you grow up, where are you now, any hobbies or other things about you that you’d like to share?

I'm Michael. 37 years old divorced dad of 3. I grew up on the eastern shore of Maryland and joined the Navy at 18 where I have been ever since, serving in Norfolk, Va. / Naples, Italy / Yokosuka, Japan / Souda Bay, Greece / Bahrain (little island next to Saudi Arabia) and onboard an aircraft carrier.

Do you prefer the mountains or beach? Why? 

Definitely the mountains. There is a certain peacefulness and calm to the mountains that I enjoy.

What is a really good book you’ve read or movie you’ve seen recently? 

I just finished re-reading "the art of racing in the rain" which might be my favorite book of all time. Movie adaptation was okay, but as with most, the book is better.

Who do you look up to in your life and, if they were to read this, is there anything you would like to tell them? 

I really struggled with this question as I don't think there is a singular person that I look to and "want to be." I've had some amazing people who took care of my professionally that I attempt to emulate, great friends who supported me personally who I've taken things from and I've tried to take many things, both good and bad from family to apply to life and as a parent. As for if there is anything that I'd like to say, I think simply "I love you" is perfect.

What is it about “mental health” that you are passionate about? Why? Any experience you’d like to share that brought this passion out?  

I'm mostly passionate about the promotion of it. That it is okay and normal to struggle. We can't be 100% of ourselves each day and that it's even more okay to admit that not just to others, but more importantly ourselves. Having young men and women work for me and seeing their struggle really made me a more staunch proponent. 

What's a difficult situation you survived/came through/found resilience in? What did the experience teach you about yourself? 

CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

My biggest struggle with mental health came from my former spouse cheating, getting divorced and then not long after having to be deployed overseas for almost 4 years away from my children. I was admittedly very depressed and even suicidal at the time. No matter what anyone said or did, I constantly felt alone and unloved. I won't say that I'm over it all almost 6 years later, however it forced me into a very uncomfortable (at the time) self awareness journey. To be forced to learn who you are without being defined as a father or husband. I discovered new music/shows/books/food. I found out how to be comfortable in my own skin and appreciate the little victories that we get each day. And really it taught me that we all can struggle. 

If you could tell your younger self something, what would it be and why? 

Love yourself hard. Nobody should love you more than you. This way you can never be tied mentally to how someone else thinks about you. You'll always be okay with just being you. 

What is one of your favorite quotes and why? 

"We accept the love we think we deserve." - The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

I think it's true, and we often end up with less because we think we deserve less. 

Do you have any aspirations for yourself over the next year or two and how do you plan to reach those goals? 

I've recently become debt free. In the next 3-5 years I will probably retire from this Navy life and just hope to be able to integrate back into some form of normal. Or find my new normal..

Mental health priorities evolve with age and experience, what are one or two important pillars that make up the foundation of who you are today? 

I can't pretend to know what the pillars are, if they have been defined. But for me it's: self awareness, doing more of what makes you feel good, and be kind

How do you manage your mental health? 

I go to concerts (now that I'm back stateside), read, watch shows, go for a run, drink a beer (or more), talk to someone honestly when I'm feeling down.. 

In terms of “self-care” what do you do that a reader may be able to easily adopt into their life? 

Making a list of the things or times each day when you feel happy, or whatever not sad is. If you see a pattern after a few days/weeks, then try to set aside time for those things.

It’s important to be supported, but how do you offer support to the people in your life? 

I do awareness talks at work. Directly asking someone how they are, but not in a routine way of asking. Letting people know both through words and actions that I'm there for them

Anything else you’d like to tell our readers? 

That it's okay. Nobody is perfect and we aren't supposed to be.