Unclench your jaw, unwrinkle your forehead, and breathe

S.T.R.E.S.S.— Seriously though, relax, exercise, smile, and sleep. Yes, I did just make that up. Remember to also unclench your jaw, unwrinkle your forehead and take a deep breath. B.R.E.A.T.H.E. In and out. In and out. Repeat. And no, I don’t have an acronym for breathe— just breathe. Did you know April is Stress Awareness Month? So, what do you do to relieve stress at work and/or in your personal life? Well, let me share with you some of my techniques.

Relax— I really do try my best to “relax”, even though my husband will tell you otherwise. I hate when people say this to me, as it’s easier said than done, am I right? To relax I like to take a bath or go on a walk with my dog. Even walking for 10 minutes outside on a beautiful day (or rainy day if you’re in the UK like me), really does make a difference. Getting up from the chair after sitting for long hours to stretch also helps to relax me. And if I can’t get up to stretch, I reach for one of my two stress balls (or both because life can be stressful!) or my fidget cube. These things help me to relax and stay focused on my work meetings.

Exercise– For me, this is a once-a-week adult gymnastics class and lifting weights at the gym. Did you know JVN, from Queer Eye, also takes adult gymnastics classes? Yas queen! I take regular leisure walks which gives me energy after sprinting to the vault (when a gymnast runs down the runway and then hurdles onto a springboard and springs onto the vault with their hands– yes, I do get winded) or deadlifting more pounds. Becoming stronger and knowing I’m working towards my health goals makes me feel empowered! And, of course, exercise is a natural stress buster! It gets me out of my head and into my body.

Smile– Seriously! But not a fake smile, like a real smile. I love making my coworkers, friends, readers (*wink*), and my family laugh. The best part about smiling? It releases dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin. In addition to making people laugh, I absolutely love laughing, too— I could be stuck for hours on TikTok just laughing until I start crying and hyperventilating (I am not exaggerating). The real knee slappers are the best! If you’re a TikTok enthusiast like me, check out @loewhaley, @csapunch, and @the_mannii! It’s one of my favorite things to do, and then share them with your friends!

Sleep— Everyone gives the advice to sleep more, sleep well, and stay asleep. The trick is to actually turn your brain off and to stop thinking of all the things you need to do right before bed or what you need to do tomorrow, or the next week, so you can actually fall asleep. Sleeping allows your body and mind to recharge so you’re feeling refreshed in the morning. Anxiety right before bed is not nice. When I find my brain racing, I open up my phone “Notes” section and write down everything that’s stuck in my head. So when I wake up in the morning, it’s all there and ready to be addressed in the morning.

Other people may call all of this self-care, and it absolutely is! Managing stressors is a huge proponent of your mental health and well-being. If relaxing, exercising, smiling, and sleeping just aren’t cutting it— ask for help! There is absolutely no shame in telling someone, “Hey, I’m honestly struggling right now and it would help me out so much if you could lend a hand. Do you have some time?”. Stress builds and builds and combusts if it’s not addressed. I was so stressed out in college that I actually developed a stomach ulcer, AKA stress ulcer. Can you imagine? I was so stressed out physically and mentally that my body forced me to slow down.

I’m sure you’re saying, “This is all great in theory but how have you actually put this into practice?”— I’m so glad you asked because, by the way, I haven’t had a stomach ulcer since 2011. So, yes, I do practice these things and it does help!

Recently, I had a huge project deadline for work that entailed executives, senior leadership, and fellow managers to present manager training, once a month, every month until the end of the year but continuing into the following year. I had to keep in mind different regions and select presenters that were not only good at what they do but also felt comfortable enough presenting their areas of expertise to a crowd. It’s a huge undertaking as all 350+ managers are required to take the training. I was tasked with coming up with the topics they were to present and figure out the right flow of content.

Leading up to the project, I planned out what needed to be done every week to keep up the pace, calling them phases 1, 2, 3, and 4. This was meant to avoid cramming things in at the last minute and avoid working late nights to meet our deadlines. Remember, work-life balance! And, speaking of, I planned a vacation that fell during phase 3 week, which meant even less time to complete our tasks.

Phase 1, or week 1, was a breeze— I planned out the agenda, selected the presenters, informed my colleagues of the project, and sent numerous calendar holds. Easy peasy. In phase 2, or week 2, things got a little bit more hectic and I was beginning to panic. The to-do list was getting longer and longer and I felt myself getting overwhelmed. I did try to “relax” (gotta practice what I’m writing about here) by taking super heavy breaths that were more like deep sighs and kept telling myself, “I just wanted the week to be over with already”. I tried to remind myself that this hectic schedule was temporary and that it was setting us up for a successful year. After four weeks, four phases, the project would be done and business, or my schedule, would resume its normal pace.

In my current role, I am not a manager. However, I work with a team of really supportive people– we are helpful to one another and able to take things off of each other’s plates, and try to always lend a hand when needed. So recently, when I felt my anxiety going into full overload mode, I was able to easily delegate tasks to my co-workers. A few of them had extra time and were able to share the workload with me...

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders because I didn’t have to do everything all on my own. I still ended up pulling some late nights before I went on vacation, however, I was able to finish everything I needed to. This allowed me space to actually be able to relax while I was on vacation. I wasn’t thinking about work or what I needed to do when I got back for phase 3— week 3.

When I got back from vacation, I had a ton of emails to sift through before I was finally able to focus on the next phase of the project. As I write this, I'm currently in the process of phase 3, aka week 3. I will most likely have to ask my coworkers for help again as there are still a lot more details to get through, and that’s okay. Phase 4, or week 4, is the aftermath of feedback, sending out materials and resources, but also planning for another region to launch next month!

The bottom line is that stress is inevitable. What continues to help me during those overwhelming moments is managing my time, asking for help, and taking care of myself by relaxing, exercising, smiling, and trying my best to fall asleep and stay asleep. Find what works for you and really commit to those simple steps. And, you could even create a quirky little acronym to help remind you of what you need in those moments!