Still Figuring It Out
When I was younger, I imagined that by the time I reached my twenties, I would have it all figured out. To my six-year-old self, the mid-to-late twenties seemed like a distant, almost magical time. It felt so far away, and at the time, so grown-up. I was sure by then I would have everything figured out. I would have a thriving career, a beautiful home, a life-long partner and maybe even a child or two. Now, here I am, at 27, feeling as lost and confused as ever. After ending a long-term relationship last year, I found myself rebuilding my life from the ground up. I had to find a new place to live, start a new job (I had previously worked with my ex’s sister), and adjust to what felt like an entirely new reality. It was overwhelming, and even now, I still face moments of confusion and uncertainty.
Instead of viewing my twenties as a time when I should have everything figured out, I am choosing to view it as a time to figure things out. We are often thrown into adulthood with little preparation or guidance, like a baby bird being shoved out of the nest. While young adults do need to learn how to fly on their own, I don’t think society should expect us to soar perfectly right away, especially without proper tools or training. Even though late twenties qualifies as adulthood, I still feel like a little kid struggling to make sense of the world. Among many other things, I am still trying to pinpoint what makes me happy and how I can use my skills to make a meaningful impact.
One thing I have learned since entering adulthood is that trial and error should be embraced. In our culture, trial and error is often frowned upon – especially when it comes to changing careers or making major life decisions. But the courage to try something new – and the courage to walk away when we realize something isn’t right for us – should be celebrated. How can we know what is best for us if we don’t explore as many paths as we can?
As a child, I thought that adults had it all figured out. I saw them as these all-knowing beings who never made mistakes. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that no one really has it all figured out. We are all still learning, still growing, and still making mistakes – often more than we would like to admit. Through conversations with others, both my age and older, I’ve learned that many of us share a “fake it ‘til you make it” mentality. Even those who seem to have everything together are often facing their own struggles behind the scenes.
Starting over in my late-twenties has been daunting, but I have come to realize (and accept) that it’s never too late to pivot, whether it's through a career change, a move to a new city, or a shift in relationships. Life is a constant evolution. We are always adapting, adjusting and shifting gears. Growth is not linear, and it’s important to remember that when facing setbacks or challenges. Through every age and phase of our lives, we will constantly be figuring things out. This ever-changing reality also means that we have the power to change course at any moment. Change can be scary, but with the right mindset and support system, it also presents an opportunity to transform our lives for the better. We are never stuck in a job, in a city, or in a relationship that drains our energy and stifles our growth.
I am still figuring out my career path, but I am learning to embrace the beauty of the unknown. Just as growth isn’t linear, stability isn’t linear either. Like many others, I have experienced firsthand how quickly everything can change. One moment, life seems to fall into place, everything makes sense, and it feels like you are on solid ground. The next moment, everything is turned upside-down, thrown to the curb and lit on fire. In these moments, it’s easy to feel like the rug has been ripped out from under you, leaving you with no place to stand. But humans are incredibly resilient. We are wired to keep going, to keep adjusting, and to continue figuring things out.
Since we all pivot at different points in our lives, it’s important not to compare your journey to others. We all move at our own pace, and it’s common to feel like we’re falling behind when we look at those around us. But as the saying goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Your journey is unique to you. There is no right or wrong place to be. We are all doing the best we can, and that is always something to be proud of.
